Change is hard. By now - quarter-way through 2023, most of us probably have noticed that.
According to our new year's resolutions, we all wanted to become better people - healthier, more skilled, a better spouse, friend or family member.

But our motivation to stick with behaviours that will bring us closer to our vision seems to fade soon. Starting out and arriving at the destination is exciting - but how to keep up with the hard work in the middle?

After all, new training routines, diet protocols or calendar quality-time blockers require more than a desirable image in our heads to keep up with.

When we go with good intentions, we can not simply rely on short-term motivation. That is only the initial spark that provides forward power. It’s a great start, but to keep moving we need to switch to fuel types that provide us with an urge to pursue our goals no matter how tough things are. Otherwise, we might end up finding ourselves stuck in the same position this time next year.

What is the key to keeping a new habit with ease? How can we build momentum that keeps us moving even when the engine temporarily stops?

To build lasting habits is essential to connect personally and emotionally with them. Making those habits a part of who we are and creating a new identity around them provides powerful fuel for motivation. Our current actions reflect our values, beliefs and identity. They express how we see ourselves and mirror the type of person that we think we are.

Motivation and the brain

When it comes to building habits, we need to understand feelings and motivation. Let's take a close look at the human brain to understand where these emotions come from.

In essence, the brain comprises two major parts:

The newest area of the brain, also called the Homo sapiens brain, is the neocortex. This part is responsible for rational and analytical thought as well as language.

Besides, the majority of the brain comprises the limbic brain. This is the root of human emotions and the source of feelings such as trust, love and motivation. The limbic brain also controls decision-making and behaviour but has no capacity for language. That's why we often find it hard to put our gut feelings into words.

With this in mind, we can get clear about Motivation.

In essence, to constate lasting change we want to align the way we make decisions and our behaviour with the desired goal. Only this will provide the source of motivation to keep pushing when it gets tough.

Pushing off and starting something new we feel excited with a rush of anticipation and progress. But that anticipation will fade after some time and the progress seems to slow. Soon enough, we find ourselves in the messy middle, doubting if we have the strength to make it to the other side- or maybe why we started in the first place.

External motivation such as rational arguments, facts and figures that maybe caused us to start in the first place won't do a good job of motivating us anymore. To keep pushing we need to tap into motivation that comes from within ourselves. We want the part of the brain that controls such things to work for us when willpower fades away.

The key is creating an emotional connection to WHAT we are trying to achieve. To connect the desired outcome with emotions. WHAT we are trying to achieve needs a sense of deeper cause or purpose - a clear WHY. If we know WHY we put in the effort we engage with the limbic brain and we feel a certain way toward a goal. That is the sort of fuel type we want to have.

When connected emotionally, people are willing to go to great lengths for a brand, football club or some person. They know the WHY, though it might be hard for them to put gut feelings into words.
A loyal customer is inspired by a deeper purpose behind the products of a company. An a fan has certain sensation towards that club that would never be traded for another. And a lover can't help stupid actions showing feelings for a loved one.

This motivation reflects how we feel about something that requires commitment and investment of our resources. After all, feelings impact long-term behaviour, not facts or arguments.

Consequently, if we decide to change our lifestyle long-term based on good rational intentions, we might start as enthusiasts but soon lose interest - empty gyms at the start of February can tell. Change is hard because it requires commitment and a certain feeling towards the thing we want to change.

When it comes to building habits last we want to connect them with our core, with what we believe and value - with our identity. We are better off focusing on who we wish to become.

How can we win our hearts for change ?

Habits are not just isolated actions, they are merely an expression of our identity. Current actions mirror the image, values and belief system we hold about ourselves.

Therefore, the key to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first. This requires creating new beliefs about the identity to establish habits that are aligned with who we want to be.

This is called creating identity-based habits ^[1]. These habits provide a different way of setting goals.

Outcomes are what we get. Processes are what we do. Identity is what we believe.

Instead of starting with eyes on outcomes and results saying “ I want to lose 20 pounds in 6 months for the sake of better health“, the identity-based approach starts with creating a new belief system. It focuses on the new identity of a healthy person that naturally drives actions to match that person. Once this decision has been made processes fall into place and outcomes will follow.

Process saves us from the poverty of our intentions ~ Elisabeth King

Tomorrow morning when you wake up, you probably won’t feel like engaging in practice and if you do, you probably won’t feel that way the next day.

What we do is make a decision: We decide that we are runners and runners go running every day, we decide that we are bloggers and bloggers blog every day.

That decision lightens the cognitive load so much, once we made that decision there is no time and no reason to negotiate with ourselves, we already had the meeting we have already decided. The question is not whether should we go or not, the question is whether should i go left and right, but we are going.

How to build identity-based habits:

1. Choose your identity: Clarify your values, beliefs, and the type of person you want to be.
2. Believe in change: Embrace a growth mindset, recognizing that your habits and identity are flexible and can evolve.
3. Act like the person you want to become: Prove your desired identity to yourself by taking small actions that align with your values and beliefs.
4. Transform your habits: Align your actions with your desired identity by making changes to your behaviour that reflect who you want to be.
5. Reframe failures: Setbacks will occur. View them as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than evidence that you're not who you want to be.

These steps help develop a positive cycle of behaviour, beliefs, and identity, leading to lasting change and success.

What is your identity?

To become better at something, proving your identity to yourself and fostering beliefs are far more important than getting amazing results. Especially in the beginning.

Most people (myself included) will want to become better this year. Many of us, however, will set performance- and appearance-based goals in hopes that they will drive us to do things differently.

If you’re looking to make a change, stop worrying about results and start worrying about your identity. Become the type of person who can achieve the things you want to achieve. Build identity-based habits now - results will come later.

Personally, I want to be a better writer. ^[2]

Good writers write every day.

So I start by proving my new identity with at least one article or newsletter per week.

And this post is yet another small win in proving my new identity to myself.